Sad Story

Today, Olivia and I went to the park after she woke up from her afternoon nap. On our way there, we passed a young looking mother standing on the corner of one of the streets across the park. She was on her cell phone and the conversation I heard went a little like this, "Yes, I'm "so and so" and my kid's bus is over 20 minutes late from dropping the kids off... you've got to be kidding me.." and then I tuned the rest out. About 10 minutes later, I noticed the bus stopping at the corner and was making a point to point it out to Olivia (making mental notes of little learning opportunities such as those..). We watched the children, probably 5th graders, unload the bus and begin their trek to their respective homes. But then all of a sudden, the (what I thought was)"concerned" mom appeared into view, as she hurried toward her daughter and begin yelling, "Turn on your phone, B*#@*!!" "I've been trying to call you!! Why haven't you answered your phone!?!", as she yanked the girl's backpack from her to search for the phone (and yes, she called her daughter the b word). Literally, every child on the sidewalk stopped to watch that little girl be publicly humiliated by her own mother. My heart sank for that little girl as they walked into their home and I could still hear the mother yelling from the park across the street.

I have so many thoughts on this- I just had to blog about it! First of all, the maturity of that person made me wonder is it was actually an older sister instead of a mother. What an immature way to react! But I don't recall the glance I had of her being too young. But, then again, you never know. Secondly, there is obviously anger and insecurity being the driving force of the action she chose to take. But to that I say there needs to be some major redirection. I don't know what happened to this woman throughout her day- this could've been the worst day of her life for all I know. But she needs to realize that she directed those feelings to her daughter, and took whatever happened to her today, out on her girl. Even if the whole ordeal lasted 5 minutes from start to finish, I guarantee you, it is ingrained on that little girl's heart how she was treated, and again I will say, by her own mother. In addition, a situation like this makes the onlookers think the absolute worst of that woman.

So, what did I do? I used this situation as a learning experience for my own parenting. I put my self in the shoes of that little girl. I also put myself in the shoes of the mother. I will be the first to admit that I can be somewhat of a "hot head" from time to time. I have gotten better as I've gotten a little older. But I think it's important to control the anger, the frustration, the insecurity, for so many reasons! First, the innocent bystanders. They will be the first to judge; not to mention, your harshest critics. Second, the regret that will come later. The "I wish I could take that back" times. Thirdly, the humiliation it brings on myself. I look ridiculous, immature and downright sad acting that way. And fourth, and by far most important, the invaluable little soul , your child. What do they think of you? Will they hold resentment for the names they were called by their own mama? Most likely. Do those actions and words show the love and concern a parent has for a(n) (almost) missing child if you were that worried? I will also say this is SO much easier said than done. In the heat of those moments, time isn't on your side, helping you think through your actions and reactions. The hard part isn't the action. It's making the choice of what action you will take. This just spoke so clearly to my heart because the love for a child is so deep. I hope that little girl is okay tonight. I also hope the mom's heart softens enough to apologize to her baby girl before it's bedtime and she realizes she needs to try (alot) harder next time, no matter what the situation is.

So here's a few other photos I took today. Hope you have a great Tuesday!