Girl Friendships

There has been a lot on my mind lately in regards to friendships. Girlfriends are needed. They are healthy and a special aspect of human relationships. I have not always been one of the ones with lots of friends. Well, wait, I take that back. I have LOTS of friends. Lots and Lots. But, they are just that- acquaintances, friends, buddies. But not the true, "i love you like a sister" type. None are really any closer than any other. They don't really know me like a few select people do. For me, it's always been this way. I have two best friends, my sister, Maloree, and Lindsey, since 6th grade.

Sometimes, there is drama that comes along with girl friendships, and this has always been something that has turned me off. Growing up, when I would have difficulties in my girl friendships, my mom would always tell me, "Don't worry about it, Piep, they are probably jealous of you and that's what is driving them to act they way they are." And while I understand what she was saying, I never understood why that internal jealousy, if that's what it was, in them was more important than just being together, having a fun time together as friends, and building special memories. And so, I believe as a result, my guard has been up so I won't get hurt. To my core, I am a sensitive girl and am afraid of getting my feelings hurt.

In a way, I guess I am proud that I don't have lots of besties. Those few coveted spots are reserved for the people who genuinely care about me, my family, respects me for me, appreciates that I am a person who has feelings and one of my biggest vices, keeps drama to a minimum. But I am actively working towards breaking those barriers down; praying that the Lord will work on me in this area. Because after all is said and done, girl friends are the ones who are of the same sex, going through motherhood and wifehood, but doing it all alongside eachother.

It's interesting because as I leave my twenties this year, I have been noticing myself really starting to know and understand just who I am, how I am wired, why I am like I am and how it all came to be. You always hear how the thirties are when women begin to feel comfortable in their own skin and I feel that starting to take place within me. Now I must take those things I have learned about myself and use them in positive ways to create a better me. I pray the Lord will help me as I travel this journey, that I will come to learn how he has made me in His image. He knitted me in the womb of my mother and I am made fearfully and wonderfully. That to me is just... amazing. *tangent*

Although I am sad it has taken me a long time to get to where I am, I am excited and hopeful to build some very meaningful friendships - possibly the "best" kind! Lord God has blessed us with the wonderful human relationship that is friendship.